Sonny with a Chance of Cliches
by Kate-Emma
Summary: Complete - All fiction writing has clichés. They’re the safety net we fall upon when confusion sets in. But what does the subject of these clichés think about it? Breaking the fourth wall - AU


**Disclaimer: **I don't own SWaC or any characters in this piece

**A/N: **I've been on the Sonny With a Chance bandwagon for a little over a fortnight now (I know, not long right?) but over that time I have read A LOT of fan fiction for it. I've read some absolutely amazing pieces and a whole lot of absolutely atrocious pieces. So, here we have the best of the worst. Forgive me for taking the fourth wall and smashing it down so spectacularly. I hope it's entertaining enough as is…

**Summary: **Complete - All fiction writing has clichés. They're the safety net we fall upon when confusion sets in. But what does the subject of these clichés think about it? (Breaking the fourth wall) - AU

Sonny With a Chance of Clichés

"'The Internet, the Internet, how I love to search the Internet for Tawni, Tawni Hart.'" Tawni sat on the couch in the Prop House, absorbed in her phone, browsing the net for more information on herself. The one and only Tawni Hart, maker of all things good and pure in this world, even if she said so herself. She sang softly under her breath, skipping through pages of Google that she'd already browsed through. She was currently up to page fifteen if the count was right.

She was lucky to be browsing on her little pink phone at all. Just the night before the little bugger had fallen off her windowsill during a storm, hit the ground with a spectacular bang and then, luck befall it, found itself struck by lightning. The little monster should've been dead. But, braving the storm the next morning (when it had long since cleared), Tawni had taken it in gloved hands to find it was working just fine. She'd given it a little polish with the tip of her scarf then pocketed it, not thinking at all why anything should be wrong. Not thinking was, of course, Tawni's forte.

"'Page sixteen, page sixteen, so many pages on Tawni, Tawni Ha…'" her song ended in a squeal as the phone blanked out, turning itself off. She growled and shook it. "No! Bad phone!" She thumped it on the cushion beside her, figuring if physical punishment didn't help then nothing would. She gave a displeased squeal. "No! I need Tawni Time!" Then, with a flicker like when a television is turned on then back off again too quickly (the sweet flash of a picture tube dying), the phone came back on with Google back up on her screen. She grinned and looked down at it, but the smile went away quickly. "What is this?" She clicked on the first link and found herself looking at a photo of herself underneath the words 'Tawni Hart (portrayed by Tiffany Thornton), is _So Random!_'s vain beauty and Sonny Monroe's best friend'. Tawni silently paid the 'beauty', ignored the 'vain' and frowned at the comment about being Sonny's best friend. EVERYONE knew Tawni's best friend was Tawni! She gave another squeal as she found another page on herself, this time telling her she was a character in a TV series called 'Sonny With a Chance'. She threw the phone down on the couch, disgusted. Sonny? Sonny with a what? If anyone was a main character in anything it was Tawni. Tawni with a chance! She glared at it until her moment was ruined by said devil.

"Tawni? Are you okay?" Sonny's perky smile just caused Tawni to frown deeper and glare harder. "Tawni?" Sonny saw the phone. "Oh, not Ramona again? I swear, that woman is a…"

"They're calling me your co-star." Tawni shuddered at the thought as Sonny just looked thoroughly confused. "The internet is making up vicious lies. I don't even know who Tiffany Thornton is!" Tawni held up the phone. "What did I do to them?"

Sonny took the phone off her and clicked on one of the links that read 'Wikipedia' next to it. She grinned at the picture at the top of the page. "Oh look it's me!" She scrolled down. "But what is 'Sonny With A Chance'?" Tawni shrugged. Sonny just smiled. "I'll Google it!" She typed in the name and whole lists of the word came up. She frowned though. "It's a TV show, on the Disney channel about… me." She frowned and looked around the room as if trying to spot the TV cameras. There were none. "This must be some kind of Chad joke. I'm going to go find him." She stormed off and Tawni took back the phone.

"Any excuse to find Chad!" She giggled, looking back through again. Her eyes stopped on a page that read 'Sonny With a Chance fiction clichés'. She clicked on it and giggled as she read the list of about twenty.

At the sound of giggles Zora stepped out of her sarcophagus. "Oh, so you've finally stopped screeching like a banshee?" She pressed her hands to her face and made an expression scarily similar The Scream, the old painting Tawni had read about once in art history. She'd quietly thought that if she were dressed like him, well, she'd be screaming too! Zora, meanwhile, was reading over Tawni's shoulder. "What's this?"

"Clichés. Apparently people write things about us and this is the kinds of things they write."

"Oh ho, people write things about me? That's so cool!" The eleven-year-old jumped over the back of the couch and snatched the phone from Tawni's hand, plugging it into a cord attached to the television. As Zora flicked on the TV, the screen of Tawni's mobile came up larger. It was a little blurry, but definitely readable. Zora laughed. "Oh yes, the boys are going to enjoy these."

"Going to enjoy what?" Nico stood in the doorway, glancing between the girls and Grady who was waddling towards him weighed down by boxes of doughnuts and pizza.

"What have you been doing? Raiding the commissary?" Tawni asked, frowning at them.

"No? Whatever gave you that idea?" Nico gave a slight smile, but it was his 'you caught me' smile and Tawni just shook her head.

"Well as long as you have doughnuts with pink icing and pizza with mushrooms, I don't mind." She smiled and gave her hair a slight flick with the back of her hand. Nico nodded and placed two boxes on the table in front of her. Tawni grinned and pulled open the pizza box, extracting a tissue and her lip-gloss with it. The patented 'bite, wipe and gloss' was due to begin.

"So what're we supposed be enjoying?" Grady asked, dumping the last of the boxes on the floor and withdrawing a chocolate doughnut and a large piece of pepperoni pizza at the same time. His eyes danced between them before he decided to eat the pizza first.

"Tawni's magic phone. Apparently we're all just characters in a television show about Sonny and people write things about us!" Zora laughed, enjoying it just a little too much. She gave her usual little laugh. "And these are clichés people use about us. I like 12: Zora's air vent is her second home and 16: the rat in the photo booth has developed a crush on Chad Dylan Cooper and moved out to be with him." She jumped back over the lounge and pushed back the curtain of the photo booth. "You don't love Chad do you ratty? No, no one does!"

"That's not what Tween Weekly says." Came a voice from the doorway. "Everyone loves Chad Dylan Cooper." Chad stood in the doorway, looking terribly proud of himself.

"Especially Chad Dylan Cooper." Sonny muttered from beside him.

"Actually Sonny, apparently you." Tawni tapped her phone with a manicured nail. "Cliché 19: Sonny is so in love with Chad she talks in her sleep about him."

Chad laughed and pointed at her. "I knew it." Sonny just glared.

"Hold on Chad. The other half says 'Also works the other way around, with Chad sleep-talking about Sonny.'"

Chad looked away as Sonny shook her head. "I don't know whether to laugh at you or crawl up in a corner and fight the urge to puke." Chad screwed up his nose and pretended to laugh. Sonny just ignored him and grabbed pizza. "So, what else is on the list?"

Zora grinned. "Let's see…"

_1. Tawni and Sonny sleep in their dressing rooms and not in their own homes_

"Oh that's hilarious. Where do we hide the beds then?" Tawni laughed so loud she drew strange looks from the rest of the people in the room.

"That's just silly. I have a home. We've all seen it." Sonny turned an accusatory finger on Chad. "Even though I still don't know why you were there." Chad stayed silent, munching on a caramel doughnut and looking rather content. "Not that I wouldn't mind a sleepover buddy." Sonny grinned her large, toothy grin at Tawni who frowned.

"Not in this lifetime Sonny. Apparently you talk in your sleep aboutChip over there."

"That's not true! It's a cliché, not a fact!" Sonny frowned at the list, hating it for turning against her already.

"All myths are born from facts Sonny. Like the myth that I'm so beautiful people turn to stone if they look at me too much." Tawni giggled.

"Tawni, that was Medusa, and she turned people to stone because she was so ugly underneath." Nico spoke up. Grady started to say something but Nico shoved a doughnut in his mouth. "Maybe you're like the anti-Medusa?" Nico added, stopping a scowl that was sneaking onto Tawni's face.

"You shouldn't be so quick to trust this list anyway Tawni, because you're number two." Zora laughed, pointing to the screen…

_2. Tawni is inherently evil and will do anything in her power to stop Chad and Sonny ever being together_

Someone made a noise like they were choking and they all looked up to find Chad had turned a strange shade of green and was choking on his piece of doughnut. Grady smacked him in the back and he caught a breath. "Thanks Randy," Chad forced out between coughs.

"First, it's Grady. Second, I didn't do it for your own good," Grady snickered. "I've always wanted to smack you Pooper." He high-fived Nico. Chad gave them a rather green death stare before they turned their attention back to Tawni who still hadn't made a sound.

"Aren't you going to comment on that?" Sonny asked. Tawni shrugged. "They just called you evil!"

Tawni smiled. "Evil is good. Power is good. Powerful people are feared. Beautiful people are feared. Oooh, I'm so scary!"

Sonny scrunched up her nose. "Tawni, evil people have warts and everybody hates them." Tawni didn't make the connection. "Everybody hates them means no one around to call you beautiful."

Tawni flailed her hands a little bit and gave a squeal. "No way am I evil!" She pouted. "Not that I wouldn't try my darndest," she swung her fist a little as she said 'darndest', "to stop you making a very big mistake when it comes to Mackenzie 'No Talent' over there."

"No problem in that area." Both Chad and Sonny said at the same time. Sonny turned to look at him and found him frowning back at her. She shook her head at him then turned back to the television. "Read number three…"

_3. James Conroy is also inherently evil and will do anything (even kidnapping and blackmail) to get Sonny back_

"I'm going to be kidnapped by James?" Sonny asked aloud to no one in particular. "That seems very _Mackenzie Falls_-ish."

"Sometimes dra…" Chad started but Sonny cut him off.

"…ma imitates art', yes, I know Chad. Thanks." She shook her head. "James isn't evil, just pathetic. Though he does do a mean forward roll."

"Hey, I can drop and roll." Chad protested, not keen to be upstaged by the one-time guest star.

"Chad, I saw you 'drop and roll'. It looked like a dying cockroach." She held up her hands in little claws and shook them, impersonating the kicking legs on a cockroach in its last minutes. Chad returned to pouting at her. Sonny just looked back at Zora. "Next!"

_4. 'Stupid cute' – need we say anything else about the world's most overused line?_

"What the heck is 'stupid cute'?" Nico asked, fishing another piece of pizza from the box.

"Well Tawni certainly falls into that category." Zora giggled.

"Oh, thank you Zora." Tawni gave her littlest co-star a hug. Zora just nodded that her case in point had just been proven. Everyone remained looking confused however as Chad just gave a soft cough then looked at the screen.

"What's next Zara?" he asked, fishing out a passionfruit doughnut this time. They all turned their attention back to the screen…

_5. Portlyn knows everything that goes on around the place_

"I'm surprised Portlyn even knows what day _Mackenzie Falls_ shoots." Tawni laughed.

"You know Portlyn is the character's name right?" Chad said.

Tawni shrugged, not caring. Sonny looked at him. "What's her real name then?" Chad shrugged as well. They all shrugged and looked back at the screen…

_6. All 'good, good, fine, fine' arguments end in a kiss_

"Like that's ever gonna happen." Sonny scoffed.

"Yeah, I'd rather kiss a wet dog."

"Don't you mean 'pig' Chip?" Nico laughed.

Chad ignored him. "Point is, never."

Sonny nodded. "I'd rather kiss a shark." Sonny made a face at Chad as she said this.

Chad looked affronted. "Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Go…" Chad stopped as he noticed the rest of the _So Random!_ cast watching on. Sonny spotted them too.

"Not gonna happen." She turned back to the TV. "What's next Zora?"

_7. Chad is easier to break than anyone thinks. Ask him once and he lies. Ask him twice and he lies then insults you. Ask him three times, however, and he admits the truth._

"Is that true Chad?" Sonny asked, taunting him.

"No!"

Tawni held up a single finger. "You sure?"

"No! You're all idiots for believing this."

Sonny held up two fingers. "And finally… are you sure Chad? Are you? Are you really?"

He paused, trying to give them the impression he WAS about to give in and spill all his wildest secrets to them all. Eventually he smiled. "Suckas!" He laughed alone. The others just shook their heads and returned to the television…

_8. Despite there being no proof Sonny can sing, automatically she can because, well, Demi can…_

"Who's Demi?" Sonny asked, frowning. They all ignored the question and looked at her. "What?"

"Well, can you sing?" Grady asked.

Sonny shrugged. "I can try." She started singing 'Hark the Herald Angels' (her favourite Christmas carol) before she realised the rest of the room had covered their ears. "I guess that's a 'no'?"

"A resounding 'no!'" Zora confirmed. "Let's move on…"

_9. Chad's parents are actually soft-hearted, caring individuals whom he calls 'mommy and daddy'_

Nico laughed so hard he fell off the back of the lounge where he'd been seated, leaving his half-eaten pizza behind. Chad threw it after him half-heartedly as the rest of them looked at him. "What?"

"Well? Do you call your parents 'mommy and daddy'?" Sonny taunted.

Chad frowned at how much she was enjoying this. "No! My mother is called 'mother' and she's a high-powered lawyer. If anyone called her 'mommy' she'd sue them. Father is a diplomat. I call him Roger."

"Sure sure sweetie. Momma's little boy." Sonny reached up to pinch his cheeks but he swatted her hand away.

"What's next?"

_10. Sonny kept Chad's framed photograph and she treasures it dearly_

Sonny laughed. "Oh yeah, I love it."

"You threw it out? You should've kept it. When your pathetic little show goes under, which it will, you can sell that on E-bay for thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands." Chad popped his collar with a smug pout.

Sonny rolled her eyes. "Actually, that's true, I did keep it and I do treasure it." She stood and walked behind the photo booth to a small pile of props. "Now, it's here somewhere. Oh yeah, here we are." She returned and held it up. "I just let Grady do some work with it first." Chad frowned as he saw he now had an eye patch, a moustache, a scar, a bird on his shoulder and a bonnet on his head. "Cute isn't it?" Sonny cooed at the picture mockingly.

"That's blasphemy." Chad growled at Grady who just laughed.

_11. Because this is Disney, naturally the stage is set for any characters from other shows to appear at random times, including Hannah Montana and Alex Russo (even if Sonny or the others have recognized they aren't real)_

"Alex Russo isn't real. She's just Selena Gomez." Chad said, making it sound as if the others didn't know.

"And Hannah Montana is just Miley Cyrus." Tawni said, curling her finger in her hair now, getting bored quickly since the 'Tawni' pieces had dried up.

Sonny emerged from returning the signed Chad photo to its place of honour. "This is getting silly now. And we have a rehearsal in five minutes. Enough of this, let's get back to work."

"Is that what you call it? Work?" Chad started.

"Oh yeah, so what's flouncing around in a school uniform looking like you just dropped out of a casting for _The Bold and The Beautiful_?" Sonny returned.

"It's called acting Monroe."

"It's called 'blegh'." Sonny stuck her finger in her mouth and pretended to throw up.

"But we haven't got to the best one yet: _13: Chad watches So Random! obsessively. It's his favourite show_." Zora read aloud.

"Alright, enough, I've wasted enough time with you." Chad left, picking up a box of doughnuts as he left. "Sonny, Randoms." Then, with a nod, he left the Prop House. Zora unplugged Tawni's phone and turned the TV off. As Tawni took the phone back she noticed all the links about 'Sonny With a Chance' had gone from Google, replaced with the usual _So Random!_ and Tawni Hart fan sites. Sonny spoke again. "Alright everyone, rehearsal. I have an idea for a new sketch too."

Tawni raised an eyebrow. "We're doing my 'Tawni the Princess' idea?" She grinned and flicked her hair again.

"No, even better. It's called 'Sonny With a Chance… of Clichés." Sonny laughed. "And trust me, it's gonna be hilarious!"

-

**A/N: **Okay guys. One of my longer one-shots but I hope you liked it. I think we're all guilty of at least one of these clichés. I know I am and I've only just started in SWaC. Chapter 3 of **A Hard (Awards) Night **will be up this weekend likely. Until then please READ AND REVIEW! Thanks, it makes me happy!

_Press the little button below and write… please?_

_And if you have any more clichés, jot them down in the review. Clichés are so, so much fun!_


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